It didn't seem like a blessing

Having money problems is never fun. Living from paycheck to paycheck is never fun. Your pocketbook being tighter than a fully-stretched rubber band is never fun. This is how much of our year has been. It's been so easy to complain about our finances, even though the Lord has been faithful to pay the necessities (although with not much time to spare it seems). Sometimes it feels as though we're running (to meet the bill deadlines) and then the road stops (but we keep running). It's only after we notice that we've run out of road, that we feel the Lord graciously pull us back to safety (He provides the money needed for our bills).

The next thing I know is it's approaching Christmas, which for many, has become a "holiday of despair" because of the debt that is accrued during this time. I can actually say, "not for me"! We've been wanting our children to know the true meaning of Christmas for years now. And it's been taught well. They know that Christmas is the day that we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. They know that He was born humbly in a manger, in a stable with the animals. They know the entire story of Christ's birth. However, it's often been covered up with presents, presents, presents, and not enough of the presence (if you know what I mean).

Well, this year we've had to let people know that we won't be participating in gift exchanges with them. I've sat down with my 10-year-old to ask him what he would really like for Christmas because we won't be having a grandiose spread of gifts this year. He told me he needed some new socks and he'd like to have a model airplane. Immediately, I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Partly because that's not what a typical boy would ask for, but very grateful that we don't have a typical boy.

It only dawned on me about a week later that there was a sense of peace about this "whole situation". We've been trying for the last few years to get the kids only a few things as gifts, and being quite successful until about a week before Christmas. Then I "feel" the race is on and even though we have already gotten them what we'd like, we continue to shop so that we don't "short" the kids. Afterward, I always feel terrible for my lack of self control (and the kids have forgotten about the new things in their toy boxes).

It then occurred to me that our "lack" of money is actually a blessing this Christmas season. We are able to focus on its true meaning, not confusing our children about what a Savior really means. We are excited about getting our children less, and in doing so, giving more to our children. Sometimes I think it's good to take a look at children in 3rd world countries. If they are lucky (for lack of a better word) enough, they have one toy that they treasure and take care of. They are perfectly content with it and they don't get mixed up in the greed of the world. That's what I want for my children. To be able to cultivate in them a grateful heart. One that is not greedy, or lustful for another's things, but to be able to be content with what they have and know the reason that they have it is because they serve an Amazing Father who loves to bless His children.