Rest in the Lord

I'm doing the best that I can. I think. I've been patiently waiting, waiting, waiting. Yet the provision has not yet come. I often feel like in situations like these that I am dangling off the cliff and there is no kind of "safe net" to catch me if I would fall. I know that is not the case, because I have a Father who loves me and provides so much more than I could ever ask for. Sometimes I think that my head just needs to catch up to what my heart already knows.

Chris and I have been spending time in prayer, meditating on the Word and the Lord's goodness. We've done everything that we know to do and feel like we're living in obedience to what the Lord has called us to. He has shown us mighty provision before so I guess I am very confused about what is going on now.

I'm not interested in what is going on in the "economy" because the economy that the world is freaking out about is not the Lord's economy. He can do the craziest, most unlikely and impossible things that He wants to do in a crappy world economy. And He does. Yeah. I'm not worried about that. Swine flu either while we're talking about scare tactics of the enemy. Anyway. Just wanted to clear that up.

I just seem to have trouble hearing Him right now. Like He is just not speaking to me right at the moment. Maybe this is some kind of test. I don't know. My mind is swimming with "where are you God?" questions. That's another thing. I try and try to have quiet time with the Lord--meaning where I am to be quiet so I can hear Him. What normally happens though is that my mouth is yapping and my mind is so noisy in the quiet that everything drowns out His still, small voice.

Am I the only one who struggles with these things? I seriously doubt it, but it doesn't make me feel any better to be struggling with this. I must confess that I know the Lord is here because the peace that I have could only be from Him. I just tend to begin thinking of all the "what ifs" and get myself all worked up.

Rest is what I need. Physical rest would be nice, but it's not as necessary as the rest I need to find in the quiet of my Father. Lord, please help me to focus on You and not my circumstances. Help me to find myself completely wrapped in Your arms, my heart beating the same as Yours. Help me to continue to focus on Your will for my life, no matter what the outcome. I trust You Lord. I will continue to make that choice, day after day. To follow You completely ALL the days of my life.