He is for us, not against us

I have been so anxious to write this entry, but have been waiting just in case the hubby would like to do it instead. I guess we can both do it in our own way because we won't be writing the exact same thing. So, here goes.

Last year was a bit of a financial struggle. We always were able to pay our bills, but most of the time we were paying them late because, well, we were waiting for provision. It was very frustrating because we've been doing all the things that we feel are "necessary" to receive God's blessings. We even had a couple people try to convince us that the economy isn't doing well, so my hubby's work may suffer. You may have to get jobs outside the home. I just have one thing to say about that: the world's economy may not be doing well, but God's economy is not dictated by the world's economy. God provides for His people, and I am not supposed to worry about it. (Definitely the hard part sometimes.)

Since our budget was a bit tight, we made "cuts" for Christmas. I felt bad doing it at the time, but grateful that the Lord was working on pride in my life so that I would do the right thing for my family. From hubby for Christmas, I received a journal. I was very excited because I love to journal (and I really prefer the fancy journals compared to a regular notebook because then I can find it easier. I'm very disorganized sometimes, but that's another post. :)

As I'm sitting in bed one night with my new journal, I was contemplating what to put in it. (I'm also very indecisive, but that's also another entry--maybe.) I heard the Lord tell me that I was supposed to use it to document all the ways that He is going to bless us this year. I thought to myself (and to Him), "Lord, how about if I get a 5-subject notebook, and I'll give you a section?" That was pretty generous of me I thought since last year didn't feel like it was overflowing with blessings. Even hubby said that he didn't think that I would need to use the whole journal for blessings. Then I distinctly heard the Lord say, "No, I want you to use this journal to write down all the ways that I will bless you this year". That was it. Here was my chance to practice what I preach to my children all the time: obedience.

Just a quick note that occurred to and encouraged Hubby & I: in the Bible (Deut. 6) , God instructs His people to pass things that God has done on to our children, and our childrens' children. I always thought that was for the "children of old", but have realized that this is not totally accurate thinking. We need to show our children and our grandchildren, etc. what the Lord has done in our lives to encourage them as well as us (and others!).

Since choosing obedience, the Lord has been blessing us beyond comprehension. First was providing enough paint for us to paint our entire hall upstairs (which is pretty big). And it looks as though He's planning on continuing this trend. We've had more people letting us know that they have paint that we can have so that we can continue our painting fun with the rest of the hall (which stretches down the stairs, and then all downstairs as well). Good-bye pistachio green, I feel myself beginning to relax already!! To see what I'm talking about, here's a link to hubby's blog.

I've grown very claustrophobic about clutter. Our house is very cluttered (or at least it was). One room that caused me to panic was our family room. Wall to wall was covered with something (mostly furniture). We had an L-shaped desk that took up so much room (and was not functional) that I asked God to help us find a desk that would take up less room (and be functional). Well, I put an ad on Craigslist for $75 obo. I knew that our desk wasn't worth that much (to us), but you can always go down in price, not up. Then we waited for almost 3 weeks. We'd had several inquiries about it, but nothing panned out.

In the meantime, I found a desk that looked beautiful (online) and they were asking $75 for it. I asked the Lord that if it was His will, please make it happen. Well, 2 days later, someone came over to look at the desk (while I was at work). The guy told my hubby that "it's perfect. I'll take it". He then threw some money on the table, took the desk and left. Hubby didn't count the money until after he left (again, another entry...why does he do things like this?!?). Much to our astonishment, he left us $75--with no negotiations!! To make this long story short, we now have our desk, which is more beautiful than was in the pictures. To God be the Glory!!

Here is a picture of our old desk. Not very workable, or usable.



Even though it was an L-shaped workstation, there was no storage and the desk top was pretty unusable.





And this is the new desk the Lord gave to us.




There is enough room on this desk to accommodate our household tasks like bills, our homeschooling records, and my hubby's work.




We have good friends who gave us a dining room table (which extends for our growing family) which is also beautiful and a surround-sound system (it's so awesome and we never knew we even wanted one, and makes us laugh when we listen to it while watching our 19-inch t.v.). It's kind of like being in the theater while sitting waaaayyy in the back. :)

Just recently the Lord has been pouring down blessings for us financially. I had a friend who asked me to come over to her house because she had something for me. When I got there, she handed me an envelope and said that "this is from someone at church. They wanted to remain anonymous, but wanted to bless you and your hubby". I looked inside and there was $400! I couldn't believe my eyes and said, "are you serious?" She simply replied, "yeah". I brought it home to hubby and for once even he looked surprised. We ran right to the bank to make a large part of our mortgage payment (that was overdue).

The very next day, we received a call from a friend of ours. He said that he had been spending time with the Lord and for the past few weeks He felt the Lord putting us on his heart. He said that he was going to step out in faith and ask me, "do you need any help financially?" I felt my jaw drop. Pinch me and I'll wake up, I thought to myself. I said yes we do need help. He said that he felt the Lord giving the number 200 to him in his heart and that was what he wanted to bless us with. I felt so bad that hubby didn't take this call. He wouldn't have started to cry like I was doing at that very moment. I couldn't believe that He (God) was doing this for us.

Needless to say, we've been praying for HUGE blessings to rain down on these people (from paint to sound systems to financial help and everything in between) who've stepped out in faith. We've learned that it's good to walk in faith even when it looks so incredibly stupid to others . That we're trusting our God and leaning NOT on our own understanding(Proverbs 3:5) . I don't know why the Lord decided to bless us in this way. But I do know that He's just a loving Papa who loves to bless His children. And I love Him for His blessings, but mostly for His amazing sacrifice that He gave us so long ago. I pray that that very sacrifice will remain fresh in my heart, and that I will never take Him for granted, and that I will always walk by faith (2 Corinthians 5:1-10). He is for us, not against us (Romans 8:31-39).

A Heart Transformation

My mom told me when I was younger (before I was married) that once a person gets married, they find out how selfish they really are. I guess I kind of blew it off since I wasn't even dating anyone at the time, and I really didn't think that this advice would pertain to me. Boy, was I wrong. It took getting married and then having children to find out how incredibly selfish and whiny I can be.

Since I've gotten married nearly 8 years ago, I have found that my mom was right. I mean, sometimes I could easily be mistaken for a three-year-old who isn't getting their way. I would complain about everything (whether big or small) and most of the time, I think I didn't even realize that I was doing it.

One of the big things that I've found to complain about where we live. I've had it in my head for the past 3 years (and flowing out of my mouth) that I want to either live closer to our church (which is 1 hour away) so that we can be more involved than we are, or I want to live no more than half hour from my parents (which are 24 hours away). Those were the only two options that I'd fixed my mind on and the only two options that God was given. He needed to let us know which one it was going to be and when. I also wanted to fix up our enormous "fixer-upper" so that we can sell it and get to one of the above two destinations (quickly). My mind was made up. I'd pray about it so that I could hear what the plans were.

Somewhere along the line though, the Lord must have re-wired my "whine-ware" so that I would notice when I was complaining. I really began to notice it a lot. Our pastor even ended a message with "Please do not complain about where you are. The Israelites complained and it took them 40 years to get through the wilderness. Had they not complained, it would have only taken them about a week."

That was it!! I decided that I would not complain about living in this city. Then, I wouldn't have to be here 40 years!! I really felt good about my decision.

Well, recently I was able to connect with someone and the Lord gave me a new revelation through this conversation: I am perfectly happy being here, in this city. I want to reach out and love the people from this community and see souls saved and see Christians be able to mature in their faith. No matter how long it takes, no matter if we have to drive 1 hour to church each week several times for years, and whether or not I have to wait to see my family only once every year or so, I want to be here. Doing God's will. I know now what it feels like to be content where He's called me to be. And, I still want to get my house fixed up, but now for a different reason: I want to enjoy it while we're here.

Thank you Lord for showing me my selfishness and even more for what you're doing in my heart. Help me to be a witness wherever I go, and wherever I live.

Proverbs 21:19

It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.

Why I find it hard to be a woman

Okay...I'm typing this while it's *fresh* (literally as you will read). As a woman, I have found that keeping groomed is a full-time job. You have hair to keep trimmed and fashioned so that you look like someone who stepped out of a magazine. This has been hard for me. I find that getting your hair cut is expensive--(getting your hair highlighted you nearly need to take out a loan for)--so I don't usually go to the salon but once a year. It's normally because I'm getting tired of my mid-back length hair and want a change. So I get it cut to below my shoulders.

You also have a figure to try and maintain (if you can refrain from the cookies and other "goodies" in your kitchen. This is the part that I find hardest. Especially since I haven't convinced myself that I want to be beat into slender submission. I'm trying though. Just did some butt exercises today and now I can't feel it. I guess it's working.

What I'm really interested in talking about though is hair removal. Yes, the shaving of the legs, armpits, etc. Now, it's winter time, so I have to admit that I take a bit of a vacation from clearing the forests (although armpits must be shaved regularly). It's a very, hairy deal.

Last night as hubby and I were spending time with some friends, she (so beautiful) says that her legs have gotten so hairy. I was immediately up for the challenge. My leg hair has been growing like overgrown raspberry bushes for at least 2 months now. I told her to show me her leg (I think she was surprised:). She showed me and for the life of me, I saw nothing. I even reached out to try and see if I felt anything, but really, it was nothing to mention. I laughed and said that she should see my legs (after I said it I immediately wondered of my sanity). She gasped and laughed when she saw my legs. That's how forest-like they are. It's actually been a point of pride for me. Kind of a like a contest that no one else is in--just me. And, I'm winning. :)

So today as I get ready for our mom's group tomorrow, I have a box of things that I want to put out on the "share" table at the group. These are random things that are in good condition that you're wanting to find a new home for. I saw the box of cold wax hair removal and thought to myself..."maybe I'll see if I really want to get rid of this". I remembered that it hurt the last time, but that was at least 3 years ago. This stuff has since "expired" I'm sure. It won't be that bad.

I go into the bathroom with my youngest son in tow (he was very interested in this experiment that mom was about to perform). He excitedly handed me the strips while I smeared cold wax on my unsuspecting hair. I put the strip down, pressed it down good, and gave it a yank. OH MY WORD!!! What in the world just happened? I look down at a very bare strip in my grove of trees.

Wow that hurt. But, now that leg just looks silly. Better keep going. So, my little assistant helps me again. This time I actually screamed. My little McGyver has decided that next time he will close his ears so that he doesn't hear "aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!". By this time I've created enough of a ruckus that Dimples appears in the doorway..."whatcha doing?" Little Mac invites him to come in and see what mommy is doing.

Over and over again this happens until I actually start to feel a bit light-headed. I think I actually heard my leg crying and asking "why are you mad at me?" So, looking down at my red, splotchy leg which is missing hair in some parts, but still hairy in most places, I decide that is absolutely enough. My leg looks worse than it did before and now there's pain too. Not to mention my other leg is still completely covered in hair. If you don't believe me, I'll "verify" for you tomorrow. It's about an hour after the "ordeal" and my heart is still racing. I even feel a little nauseous.

It's funny, before I even started waxing my leg, I thought to myself that maybe I'll even do my bikini area. Now though, I'm glad I didn't. I don't think I'd be able to have any more children after doing so. Hmmm...:)

Guess what is going back into the box for tomorrows mom's group? I will put a note on it for whichever brave soul decides to take it:Take at your own risk.

This is one of the last times that I attempt to be a "modern" woman. Who cares if my body hair can all be tucked into my socks? After this, maybe I will start my own fashion. After enough hair grows, you may not need clothing anymore! Talk about saving money! Anyway, I'm glad that I'm a woman, but sometimes it's just plain hard to be one.

Reminiscing

As I sit here in the "quiet" of my home, my mind is filled with the amazing things that the Lord has done recently in my life. I wanted to share a few of those quick before anyone discovers I'm gone.

In the fall of 2007, I gave birth to my first daughter (3 boys were ahead of her) and something "freakish" happened. I won't bother sharing the entire testimony as it's quite lengthy I've found, but her & I both came in contact with HSV-1 (aka Herpes Simplex Virus-type 1). Now, if you're first reaction is wow! an STD, that is the same reaction that I had. Although incorrect. This is the same strain that causes shingles, chickenpox and cold sores. It could have been potentially devastating though had the Lord Jesus not be involved. I thank Him so much that He was.

Anyway, this is a virus that is known to not leave the body once infected. It just remains dormant in the spinal fluid until another stresser comes to make it flare up again. Not fun. Very painful. But we're not pursuing mans advice, we're pursuing the Lord and what He can do. We've been believing total healing for both of us. And I really think that we're seeing it.

Shortly after my initial outbreak, I began to develop one single blister inside my mouth (on the roof toward the back). It looked like a pimple, and it would come and go on it's own (unless of course I couldn't leave it alone and pop it myself--gross I know). Well, after over a year of praying and believing in healing from HSV for both the sweetpea and I, I realized the other day that I've not had this recurring pimple-thing for months! How amazing is that? I had come to expect it because it came so frequently. I didn't even notice that it wasn't appearing anymore!

Then, sweetpea runs high fevers while teething. A few months ago, she ran a temp of almost 105. I was sick to my stomach and nervous about her going through another outbreak (which requires medication because she's so young). In the past when she ran fevers, she almost always would get sick again with the virus. Well, I waited and waited. No lesions came. It was quite astonishing. Then again a couple of weeks ago she developed fevers again; again, no lesions. I'm in complete awe.

I've been hesitant in the past to claim the healing for us in my heart b/c I can see with my eyes. (I'm only realizing this now.) I could see each and every little pink bump on my beautiful daughter's head and be terrified, but still claiming healing. It seemed so foolish to me in the flesh, because I felt like I was trying to be one of those "positive thinkers". The only difference is that while they're trying to use the positive to make things happen, I was calling on the Name of Jehovah Nissi (God of Victory). I'm not quite sure of the verse, I think it's somewhere in 1 Corinthians, but it talks about "calling things that aren't as though they are". That's what we were/are doing and can't wait to see these things tested out to see our complete healing.

One of the things that have made me a little nervous about all of this is that we're expecting again. The docs want to put me on the medication at 6 months and will plan on doing a C-section if there's any signs of the virus. I know that in order to have a testimony, one must first have a test. I believe this will be my test. So, if you remember, please pray for the baby and I during the pregnancy and labor/delivery. I'm willing to accept the challenge (not like I have a choice!) and show what the Lord has done.