New Chapter...

Transition is not always easy. In fact, it's often uncomfortable and seems to be long. In labor, it's one of the most intense parts. The part when you want to throw in the towel and just leave the baby in there and wear maternity pants for the rest of your life. There's no stopping it. That baby's coming, and what a prize it will be when it comes. In the meantime though, you've just got to hang in there.

I love my church. I mean L-O-V-E. my. church. I have lived in PA for almost 11 years and next month, we'll be at our beloved church for 10 years. That's a long time. (For a 32 year old at least.) My man and I have gone through many hardships in our 10 years of marriage, as well as many happy ones. Through that time, our church, has become a family. One that we like. One that we love. I have experienced friendships that I never dreamed possible. I love each one of them wholeheartedly.

This past Monday night was an exhausting one (not just b/c it was McGyver's birthday). C & I went to bed after crying out to the Lord for wisdom about what to do in an area of our life. When we woke up the next morning, he asked me if I felt the Lord telling me anything. "I don't know... maybe", I said. "Why, do you feel him telling you something?" He said yes, but said I needed to go first. I sighed and went on. "Well, I think I heard a voice maybe telling me that we should go to this other church" (a church that our church planted) "instead of our church." Then I waited for him to tell me, "Nope. That's not it." Instead, he said, "Yep. That's what the Lord told me too."

It was exciting. C & I hearing from the Lord individually, but also together. I was elated. Later in the day, it began to feel surreal. Was this really happening? C & I talked about it, and we both felt that we needed to do this asap. I have learned from past experiences that when the Lord says something, we need to jump on it. Otherwise, the rewards may be less sweet as time goes by. Kind of like a harvest. When you know it's time to bring in the harvest, you don't wait for the fruit to fall to the ground and get all squishy and bug-filled. You get out there to get the ripe, succulent fruit.

This morning though and all through the day, I felt so extremely sad. I felt like I was in mourning. I know that we're not moving to Mexico or anything, but it is just such a change I'm trying to wrap my heart (and my mind) around it all at the same time. A couple of times at work today I began to feel tears slide down my cheeks as I kept thinking how hard this would be. How much I will miss my family. It truly felt like grief.

Tonight, as I was putting the boys to bed, I read about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane (from their children's Bible). While reading to them, Holy Spirit began to show me the sacrifice that Jesus made for me. I mean, really, show me in my heart. So much so, that I began to weep uncontrollably. I realized that He left everything that was perfect and good with the Father, to come here. To be ridiculed, to be tormented, to be tortured and crucified. All for a people who did not receive Him. We, on the other hand, are being called to a church that is amazing. People there who only know how to love, and who are generous and good. I realized then, in my grief, that I needed to thank Jesus, let the grief go, and give Him praise for the new chapter in our life.
I am reminded of King David. After days of praying and fasting, his firstborn son died. He immediately washed his face, changed his clothes and began to eat again.

So, now I wash my face, thank Jesus for His amazing love, and the new chapter in our life. I won't get to give most of you a "proper good-bye"in time for this Sunday, but I am sure that I will see you again (sometime soon I hope!). These precious friendships that I treasure I want to keep going. I simply can't lose touch. It'll just take a little scheduling. :)

I am excited to see what the Lord has for our family through this act of obedience. Since we said "yes", C has already had 4 new projects begin...and that's only since yesterday!

Alright. Time to turn the page. Thank you for this "baby", Lord. Thank you that it's coming and oh, what a sweet day it will be.