After "discovering" that we are now pregnant for the 7th time, there's been a multitude of feelings that have flooded my soul. I immediately cried, thinking of last year when our little sweet pea was born and ended up sick and in the hospital for a month. I do not want to do that again. And I'm believing that we won't have to. We're praying for Heavenly health for both of us and believing that it will come to fruition.
There's been moments of happiness, and there's also been moments of shame. That last one is so ridiculous, but it's true. We're married, but people's responses (whether verbal or just facial) speak volumes. I've heard (countless times from people), "your husband needs more work to do!" Or, "we're all pitching in to get you some cable and a t.v. in your bedroom". Thanks guys. If I get cable or a new t.v., you sure can buy it. But, I'm going to be picky and it's not going to be in my bedroom!!
What is quite obvious is that children are no longer viewed as the "gift from God" that they were meant to be. They are now looked at like they're a burden--extra baggage to weigh you down. We live in a time when it's no longer wise to "trust in the Lord", but to "lean on our own understanding" because we worry about our pocketbooks more than believe in what God can do. Everyone's quiver is a different size, and ours just seems to be a bit bigger than most. But that doesn't mean that I'm open to being the old woman who lived in a shoe.
I was talking to Relentless tonight and had a brief, but wonderful conversation. Thanks Relentless!! If anyone knows Relentless, she is full of wisdom beyond her young years. She's a HUGE blessing to the body of Christ and I'm glad to be friends with her!
I am praying that the Lord will give us guidance on His will for our whole life, but mainly right now to know "how big is our quiver?". I've got so many questions for Him, like whether we should go on birth control or not, are we really trusting Him if we do? I want nothing else than to follow the Lord's leading for my life, but sometimes it's a bit daunting to think that I'm not quite 30 and could end up with 15 kiddos running around!
It's hard to remember sometimes that our identity is not in our roles as men & women, but who we are in Christ. It is necessary however to remind ourselves of this. I choose to continue to seek out the Lord's will (no matter how long it takes) and believe that He will show my hubby and I in His time. I told Relentless last night that I just wish that He would show us His will so that we could do it and feel confident in our decision. And she said something profound (again :) . She said that she agreed, but the relationship wouldn't be there then (with the Lord). That really touched me. Like maybe I am now glad that He's not "answered" me so that I can press in to Him more and chase Him the way He wants me to. That's definitely a place where I want to be.
So, I guess to sum up everything, I really can't care what people are saying (or not saying). All I care about is doing the Lord's will for our life and living in His faithfulness, love and fullness. He is good. That is why I seek Him. That is why I serve Him.
~Pressing In
Texas wedding
10 years ago
6 comments:
funny that some people respond that way. I was starting to get a little worried because this one took so much longer than usual for you.
I'm glad that my little Esmerelda* or Eduardo* will have a cousin so close in age.
I don't think the issue is that children are no longer considered a blessing. It's just that the societal standard is between two and three - if you're not in that window, people try to force you to fit. When you have none, people think it's weird that you don't have any kids and keep bugging you about it. That's especially frustrating for people who have difficulty conceiving. Then, when you have one, they ask, "when are you going to have another one?" And you get the same question at two. At three, the question becomes, "do you think you'll have any more?" At four, "You aren't having any more, are you?" After that, I think people assume that you'll just go forever.
* names have been changed to protect the innocent
:) Our quiver is full and are glad that yours isn't. I have said it many times before: you to can have as many babies as you want. You do such a great job with EACH one. Glad to see that people's responses are not affecting you.
Thank you Classic MaMa for your encouraging comment. You're always such a blessing to us and we love you so very much. Sometimes I wish that our quiver was full, but only the Lord knows when that will be so I am content to wait on Him. He'll either let us know that that's enough, or He'll make plenty of provision (whether patience, financial or just our mental state or whatever He sees we need). Either way, He's more than enough for me. Love you girlie! Thanks again!! :)
I am so sorry that people would say such things. I have heard it at church before and it makes me sad. Here my family and I are praying for a miracle baby and people are making those comments for you. I am filled with joy for you guys. If we could get pregnant again it would make it our 6th baby. We lost two. Children are absolutely a blessing from God!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!
It is amazing what comes out of people's mouths - I have to admit, I was one of those people years ago (not to you). However, the Lord has changed me a lot - I am not sarcastic, I know that there is power in words, and I also believe that the Lord has a special design and plan for each person and each family.
Some families are meant to have one child and others are meant to have 10 or more, and then there are the majority of people that fall in between those parameters. Don't worry what others say, because the only One whose opinion matters is the Lord. He will show you when your quiver is full - we are currently asking the Lord if ours is or is not. You are a wonderful mother and your children are beautiful!
I also agree with you - no TV in the bedroom! :)
amylynnlindberg, I agree with you to an extent. Yes, it is a societal standard of 2-3 children. However, the reason that there is that standard is because children are viewed as a burden (especially the more a couple has) rather than a blessing. If we really would trust the Lord with all our hearts, I think we'd definitely sense when our quiver is full (from the Lord showing us, not leaning on our own understanding).
Post a Comment