Okay...I'm typing this while it's *fresh* (literally as you will read). As a woman, I have found that keeping groomed is a full-time job. You have hair to keep trimmed and fashioned so that you look like someone who stepped out of a magazine. This has been hard for me. I find that getting your hair cut is expensive--(getting your hair highlighted you nearly need to take out a loan for)--so I don't usually go to the salon but once a year. It's normally because I'm getting tired of my mid-back length hair and want a change. So I get it cut to below my shoulders.
You also have a figure to try and maintain (if you can refrain from the cookies and other "goodies" in your kitchen. This is the part that I find hardest. Especially since I haven't convinced myself that I want to be beat into slender submission. I'm trying though. Just did some butt exercises today and now I can't feel it. I guess it's working.
What I'm really interested in talking about though is hair removal. Yes, the shaving of the legs, armpits, etc. Now, it's winter time, so I have to admit that I take a bit of a vacation from clearing the forests (although armpits must be shaved regularly). It's a very, hairy deal.
Last night as hubby and I were spending time with some friends, she (so beautiful) says that her legs have gotten so hairy. I was immediately up for the challenge. My leg hair has been growing like overgrown raspberry bushes for at least 2 months now. I told her to show me her leg (I think she was surprised:). She showed me and for the life of me, I saw nothing. I even reached out to try and see if I felt anything, but really, it was nothing to mention. I laughed and said that she should see my legs (after I said it I immediately wondered of my sanity). She gasped and laughed when she saw my legs. That's how forest-like they are. It's actually been a point of pride for me. Kind of a like a contest that no one else is in--just me. And, I'm winning. :)
So today as I get ready for our mom's group tomorrow, I have a box of things that I want to put out on the "share" table at the group. These are random things that are in good condition that you're wanting to find a new home for. I saw the box of cold wax hair removal and thought to myself..."maybe I'll see if I really want to get rid of this". I remembered that it hurt the last time, but that was at least 3 years ago. This stuff has since "expired" I'm sure. It won't be that bad.
I go into the bathroom with my youngest son in tow (he was very interested in this experiment that mom was about to perform). He excitedly handed me the strips while I smeared cold wax on my unsuspecting hair. I put the strip down, pressed it down good, and gave it a yank. OH MY WORD!!! What in the world just happened? I look down at a very bare strip in my grove of trees.
Wow that hurt. But, now that leg just looks silly. Better keep going. So, my little assistant helps me again. This time I actually screamed. My little McGyver has decided that next time he will close his ears so that he doesn't hear "aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!". By this time I've created enough of a ruckus that Dimples appears in the doorway..."whatcha doing?" Little Mac invites him to come in and see what mommy is doing.
Over and over again this happens until I actually start to feel a bit light-headed. I think I actually heard my leg crying and asking "why are you mad at me?" So, looking down at my red, splotchy leg which is missing hair in some parts, but still hairy in most places, I decide that is absolutely enough. My leg looks worse than it did before and now there's pain too. Not to mention my other leg is still completely covered in hair. If you don't believe me, I'll "verify" for you tomorrow. It's about an hour after the "ordeal" and my heart is still racing. I even feel a little nauseous.
It's funny, before I even started waxing my leg, I thought to myself that maybe I'll even do my bikini area. Now though, I'm glad I didn't. I don't think I'd be able to have any more children after doing so. Hmmm...:)
Guess what is going back into the box for tomorrows mom's group? I will put a note on it for whichever brave soul decides to take it:Take at your own risk.
This is one of the last times that I attempt to be a "modern" woman. Who cares if my body hair can all be tucked into my socks? After this, maybe I will start my own fashion. After enough hair grows, you may not need clothing anymore! Talk about saving money! Anyway, I'm glad that I'm a woman, but sometimes it's just plain hard to be one.
Texas wedding
10 years ago
11 comments:
Amen! I waxed my eye brows once and it was painful it discouraged me from doing any other body part. I take a winter shaving siesta too.
Tell it girl! This was awesome. You know what...you're making babies with those hairy legs and I think you're just gorgeous so let it grow. That's what winter is for. A razor to the armpits in the shower is all that's needed. And men's beard trimmers work great for "other areas". No shaving or waxing needed.
That's pretty funny.
On hair: I haven't gotten my hair cut professionally since I was 14. And I think it looks just fine. Of course, this means I also have had the same hairstyle for half of my life. But who cares?
On leg hair: Sad but true... When I started shaving, I shaved every day, and no one told me for a very long time that you don't have to. By then, it was so much a part of the shower routine that I cannot feel clean in the shower if I don't shave my legs. But it's also so much a part of the routine that I can take my entire shower - including shaving and full hair care - in five minutes if I have to. If you have a smooth enough razor, you can go fast and not cut yourself. Maybe I'll buy you a Schick Quattro for the beach.
On the time: You didn't even mention makeup. Good gravy, that takes forever. I never properly apply makeup, because it just takes too darn long. Mascara and lip gloss is my "dressed up."
This is so funny because I did my own "experiment" in the Fall. The truth is - I was protesting our culture's obsession with youth. Cause really, the only people who don't have under-arm and leg hair are children.
Woo...hoo....
You're a hottie.
I am right there with you. Dan knows it's a special occasion if I shave in the winter. It only takes 2 days and my leg hairs are a 1/8 of an inch. I am like a beastly creature. Wait...a girly beastly creature... yes that is a much better mental picture.
You guys are so great. LOVED hearing the comments. I always wonder after I've been so candid if I should have been. Yeah whatever. This is me. Take it or leave it. :) So glad I'm not the only one!!
Amy: I used to do the shave every time I showered, but w/in the last few years I'm feeling that maybe the extra hair on my legs (and other areas:)~ will help in insulation therefore saving the family $$ on precious oil. :)
Tiffany: So great! Thank you for the info on beard trimmers--I saved mine from the box to go today. When it's finally summertime and I need to make sure I'm well shaven in my "other areas" I can do that. I may have to take some hedge trimmers to it first. :)
Livin Life: Totally with you. Razor's the way to go and only when people see your appendages. Husbands don't count as they are the only ones who roll you over in the middle of the night for "festivities". :)
Still Small: It's truly an experiment. I didn't think I could do it, but now I know I am woman. And a rugged one at that.
4Jesus: You're pretty darn hot yourself. :) Glad you think so. You're stuck with me. :) And, just think, the more hair I have on my legs, the more of me there is to love. ;)
KrazyKlingers: Chris is the same way. Like if I have to wear a dress and nylons that aren't black (so easy to see the hair matted down under your pantyhose). It's very sexy to look at I'm sure. :) I'm a girly beastly creature with you. HEAR ME ROAR! :)~
I have to agree: waxing is icky. I've tried it at various times and I HATE it. Why inflict pain when you don't have to. I do, however, shave often. I hate having body hair. So, every few days, I go to shave or else I'll look like a wookie.
You won't like hearing this, but I enjoy my wife's smooth legs. Sorry, I guess I'm just a product of our depraved modern American culture. In fact, I can't even go more than a couple of days without shaving (my face, that is...not my legs).
Keep shaving, sweetie! It's what separates us from the animal kingdom!
Walt, that was the funniest thing I've read. Thanks for sharing. After almost 8 years of marriage and 7 pregnancies and much tiredness, unshaven legs aren't that big of a deal anymore. But I'll keep that in mind should animal control show up at my door. :)
You only have us beat by a couple of years on the marriage thing, and while we can't compete with you in child-rearing, we're hoping for a come-from-behind victory here.
Anyway...
When we first got married, people always used to tell us that all the nice lovey-dovey stuff won't last. I thumb my nose at them!
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